Calvin at Camp: The Return of Bowser
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: Yes, it's Return of Jafar. Bowser is outta the lamp and looking for revenge with the help of Wario! Jr also gets Eddy to help. Can Calvin, the Hitchhiking Ghosts, and the others stop the new duo?
1. Prologue

Yes, despite my jokings about a sequel to AladdEdd ("Plausable, but not likely," as Ezra put it), after working all the bugs out of the plot, I decided to bring Bowser back with a bang.

* * *

As odd a thing as it is to say, perhaps we should begin where the previous tale stopped.

The evil Bowser Koopa and his children, the Koopalings, were after a magic lamp that contained three genies (or rather, ghost-genie-hybrids, as they called themselves) who would grant a wish each. To obtain the genies, Bowser had to pass through an opening that would only accept a pure soul, which the Koopas were obviously not.

The pure soul turned out to be Double D, who was captured and forced to find the lamp. After a few accidents (caused by Double D's companion, Ed) Double D found himself with the lamp possessing the ghosts. He used his first wish to woo Nazz, a girl he liked. The second wish was used to save him from the Koopas, who tried to kill him and get the lamp themselves.

Eventually, however, Bowser did manage to obtain the lamp and wished himself a magical ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom and blasted Double D to the far regions of Iced Land. Double D returned, and with the help of his friends, defeated Bowser by tricking him into wishing himself into a genie. By doing this, the Koopa found that he was bound to his own lamp, which Double D used to wish everything back to normal, that no one but a few friends would remember this, and that Bowser was trapped in the lamp forever.

While one of Bowser's sons, Jr, wanted to wish him free, the other Koopalings, who felt overworked, decided to take a break from evil and stuffed Jr into the lamp alongside Bowser and threw it into a stream.

The stream turned into a river, the river turned into an ocean, and eventually, somehow, the lamp washed up in a desert where it sat for a few weeks.

Back at camp, the kids practically forgot about the lamp and Bowser. Aside from one or two minor run-ins, the Koopalings never showed up around camp. Yes, things were much more peaceful now. But Bowser and Jr were still out there in the desert...waiting...and getting pretty bored in the process!

* * *

Actually, I had the feeling I'd eventually write this story. For that reason, aside from a small cameo, the Koopas have been taking a break for a while. It was partly a "can the series work without them?" experiment. If I didn't do the sequel, I'd just stick Bowser back in the series eventually with no explanation of how he returned, but thankfully, his reasons will now be revealed. 


	2. Treasure Hunting at Hooktail's Castle

(To the tune of "Arabian Nights")

_**Follow me to a place where the kids are in charge**_

_**Or at least in their minds they are**_

_**Where adventures are common**_

_**The villains are large**_

_**But all of them shoot for the stars**_

_**Another fanfic**_

_**And another reprise**_

_**It ends, oh, but then**_

_**One starts up again**_

_**And sometimes in in threes**_

_**Another fanfic**_

_**Yes, we break the fourth wall**_

_**Fun is what we need**_

_**We'll have some indeed**_

_**At least all in all**_

_**Calvin, Hobbes, Ed and Edd**_

_**All the missions are led**_

_**They are there, even if it's thick**_

_**C'mon down stop on by**_

_**Hoe you like it, don't lie**_

_**Cause here comes another fanfic**_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite Bowser's absence, the Mushroom Kingdom was far from safe. Two characters in particular, the Wario Bros., had made it a hobby to rob various locations where there was treasure. Still, they posed little threat, as they usually chose the worst places to loot!

Take, for example, now. The duo, Wario and Waluigi, were scaling a tower on an old castle that was said to be inhabited by a fierce dragon...Hooktail.

"What if that dragon really exists?" asked Waluigi, as they entered the dark tower.

"Hooktail?" laughed Wario. "I tell ya, she's just a myth! Besides, my map says the treasure's right in here!" Indeed, a chest sat in front of them.

"Will you look at that..." said Waluigi. "The only thing that bugs me is the fact that the floor is covered with SKELETONS!" He pointed to the dead Koopa Troopas that surrounded.

"They're just Dry Bones. Nothing can kill these guys, right?" Wario nudged one sitting next to him. "Back me up here, buddy..." he whispered to it. When the Dry Bones didn't react, Wario grabbed his head and used him like a puppet. "'Uh, I'm still alive,'" he said in a high-pitched voice. "'Don't be a baby!'"

"I'm not a baby!" defended Waluigi. He paused. "Did you hear that?!"

Wario opened the chest to find that it was filled with coins. "I didn't hear anything except the sound of my own greed! ...and flapping wings...and growling..."

Waluigi was pale. "And I smell something...something hot."

They turned around to see a huge red dragon had entered. "AAAAAHHHHHH!!! HOOKTAIL!"

The brothers backed up against the wall. "I've got an idea!" cried Wario. "Let's fight fire with fire!" He put on his dragon helmet and blasted Hooktail with fire, who merely blasted them back, scorching them. "Ya know," coughed Wario, "that was always a stupid saying."

"Why not just use WATER?" suggested Waluigi.

Agreeing, Wario whipped out a water gun and squirted Hooktail, which did nothing.

"We need MORE water!" insisted Waluigi. "Jump!" They jumped off the tower, which was over a moat. Hooktail flew after them, and accidently submerged herself.

Wario swam to the surface. "I think we quenched the fire in her."

"Good! Then let's get that treasure!"

The Wario Bros. run back up the tower to find that Calvin, Hobbes, Ed, Double D, Eddy, Jason, and Marcus had arrived and grabbed the treasure.

"Thanks for distracting the dragon, guys!" called Calvin.

Each of them had a magic cape on. Holding the chest, they flew away.

"Curse you, Calvin and assorted others!" yelled Wario.

They heard a rumble from the moat. Out burst Hooktail. "She's alive!" screamed Waluigi.

"And I think we made her mad..." gulped Wario.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With their treasure, the kids flew over the Mushroom Kingdom.

"What are you doing with your share?" asked Jason. "I'm blowing it on Star Wars merchandise!"

"Star Trek for me, actually," said Marcus.

"Gravy!" added Ed.

"You'll do no such things," said Double D. "You all know that these coins are virtually worthless in our world. I took the liberty of emptying our chest over the Kingdom to the less fortunate."

"WHAT?!"

Double D continued. "...but I saved us one coin each for novelty's sake."

"He's right, you know," said Hobbes.

The group flew down a warp pipe and emerged at camp. Eddy grinned and ran off with his coin. "I've got a great idea for a scam now!"

"Oh dear," said Double D. "That one coin may result in a lot of trouble..."


	3. Some Other Scam

Far off in the Koopahari Desert sat the magic lamp containing Bowser and Jr. The two were trying to escape. "Keep pushing!" grunted Bowser.

"I'm trying!" cried Jr. The little Koopaling finally shoved his way out. Since he was merely stuffed in, as opposed to Bowser, who was wished in, Jr wasn't physically bound to it. "I'm out! I can breathe again!"

"Breathe later!" ordered the Koopa-turned-genie from inside the lamp. "I have to get out of here too!"

"Right," Jr picked up the lamp. "One rub of the lamp will..."

"NOOOOOOO!!!" roared Bowser. "Don't...rub...the...lamp!"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to be bossed around by one of my own kids!" growled Bowser. "I want you to find someone else! Someone from that stupid camp."

"The camp? Why?"

"I'm gettin' revenge on those kids. The icing on the cake will be that we're tricking one of THEM into helping ME! Now, get moving!"

"Should I leave you here?" asked Jr.

"Why not?" reasoned Bowser. "No one's ever come by here. NOW GO!"

"Fine, King Dad...fine..." With a heavy sigh, Jr ran across the sands, looking for a warp pipe back to camp.

(To the tune of "I'm Looking Out For Me")

Jr: **_This is_**

_**Annoying**_

_**I thought I'd be enjoying**_

_**This but I've gotten nowhere**_

_**Terrific!**_

_**Wow!**_

_**I'm going right now**_

_**Before I feel the genie's fires flare**_

_**I was a fool to trust the other guys**_

_**They stuffed me in a lamp**_

_**In the desert it lies**_

_**Arrividerci!**_

_**Life is tough**_

_**And now I say**_

_**I think I've had enough**_

At last, he found a pipe. Jr jumped down and emerges from a Mario book at the camp. "Now I gotta find myself some dumb kid..."

Outside in the hall, Eddy had collected all the coins they'd come back with and was selling them from a small stand. "Get your rare coins!"

"They are so shiny!" called Ed.

"Eddy," Double D snapped, "in our world, these coins look like plastic! No one will fall for this scam. Count me out!"

"You'll miss out..." warned Eddy, who then sang his own verse of the song.

Eddy: **_Come on! Just try it_**

_**Cause you always deny it**_

_**You know I'm smarter than you**_

_**I know that we'll win**_

_**Money will pour in**_

_**We'll be buying candy by two**_

_**Whatever scam I do, it's the same thing**_

_**You always doubt me and**_

_**You are criticizing**_

_**When you're in scamming, things are tough**_

_**I'll say right now**_

_**I think I've had enough**_

Eddy continued setting the scam up. Double D sighed and left. As kids walked by, Eddy tried to appeal to them.

_**Oh, I know that the kids will pay**_

_**I am a genius**_

_**It's really keen cause**_

_**I sure will succeed today**_

_**You know, I wonder why they doubt me still**_

_**My ideas are so great**_

_**Will I make out? I will!**_

_**You just have got**_

_**To know your stuff**_

_**You know I'm right...**_

Finally, Kevin punched Eddy.

_**I think I've had enough!**_

On that line, Eddy landed against the wall. "We're not falling for your stupid scam!" growled Kevin.

Eddy angrily crawled to his feet. "Stupid scam? It's not stupid! AT LEAST I DON'T WEAR A STUPID HAT!"

"Ahem." Double D stood behind him.

"No offense."

"Really, Eddy," nagged Double D, "I told you that it wouldn't work."

Ed did a Double D impression. "Eddy, in our world, these coins look like plastic! No one will fall for this scam. Count me out!" He went back to his normal voice. "I love doing his voice."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" snapped Double D.

"I take it back!" shouted Eddy. "I meant a lot of offense! You've gotta work harder to talk me out of this stuff." He stomped off.

From his hiding place behind a column, Jr grinned. "This is perfect! He's just right for the lamp!"

Eddy was walking down the hall when he bumped into Wario and Waluigi, who had snuck in from the Mushroom Kingdom. "So, you think you can just waltz off with our coins, huh?" growled Wario.

"I'm a guy. I don't waltz."

"Do you feel PAIN?" Waluigi pulled out a large Bob-Omb.

Eddy realized that they meant business. "Uh...I don't like to..."

Wario pulled out a Bob-Omb, too. "Get used to it, kid!"

At that moment, Jr jumped out and grabbed the Bob-Ombs away.

"A Koopa?!" cried Waluigi.

"Give those things back!" demanded Wario.

"Gotta catch me first!" Jr ran outside, followed by the Warios. The chase lead behind the camp, where Jr suddenly stopped and handed them the bombs. The fuses were almost gone.

"Uh-oh." The bombs blew up, sending the Wario Bros. flying.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Calvin is walking along reading a Mario book with Hobbes. It was a Choose Your Own Adventure book, and he was figuring out what to do. "Should use the hammer or the fire flower?"

Hobbes heard something in the sky. "Look! It's raining Warios and Waluigis!"

Yes, the villains were falling towards them. Calvin held up the book and Wario and Waluigi fell in.

"Man," said Calvin, "I heard we had ozone problems, but that's ridiculous. I'll have to write a letter to the governor."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why'd you help me?" Eddy asked suspiciously.

"Because I'm a NICE guy now," grinned Jr. "I'm changed! A peaceful Koopaling!"

"I don't believe that."

"Come on," insisted the Koopa, "I just saved you!"

"Probably a trick...like THIS!" Eddy threw Jr in a room and locked the door. "I'll be back with the others!"

* * *

In an earlier idea, Jr sang the entire "I'm Looking Out For Me" song. After him singing the opening verses, he went down the wrong warp pipe and emerged in Rougeport and decided to loot the place, much like Iago did in the movie. I realized that focus should be more on Eddy, and the remainder of the song went to him. By then, I'd already written the whole thing for Jr, so here's a bonus alternate version of the rest of the song (the first part is the same, so it's left out):

**_Okay! I'm whiny_**

**_And not to mention tiny_**

**_But I swear I have a spine_**

**_I am a loyal guy_**

**_And I wonder why_**

**_My sucking up isn't too fine_**

**_And wherever I go, it's the same thing_**

**_They call me "Koopa Brat"_**

**_You know, that really stings_**

**_When you're a short guy, things are tough_**

**_I'll say again_**

**_I think I've had enough_**

**_Oh, those kids at the camp will pay_**

**_I'll never fail_**

**_I'll cover my own tail_**

**_And I will succeed today_**

**_You know, I wonder if it's worth it all_**

**_Despite my courage and_**

**_My fighting skills, I'm small_**

**_I'm through with all_**

**_That henchmen stuff_**

**_I'm working, but..._**

**_I think I've had enough!_**


	4. YAY! HITHCHHIKING GHOSTS!

Everyone was standing outside. Eddy hurried over to the others to tell them that he had Jr trapped. "Guys! Guys! I just got..."

Suddenly, a tremor rippled through the building. "Why's the ground rumbling?" asked Calvin.

"ALIENS!" cried Jason.

"Grab our emergency supplies!" Marcus ran off with Jason following.

Three blue, glowing ghosts burst out of the sky.

"Miss us?" cackled the skeleton-like one, Ezra.

"We said we'd be back!" grunted the short dwarf, Gus.

"And we like to enter..." began the fat silly one, Phineas.

The ghosts blow up and re-formed themselves. "...with a bang!" finished Phineas.

Everyone stared in shock. Ezra was disappointed. "Yeesh, this crowd is deader than we are! Ain't you happy to see your bestest best friends?"

Jason and Marcus suddenly jumped out with lasers and zapped the ghosts. "Eat this, aliens!" roared Marcus.

"You're not probing anyone but my sister!" added Jason. "She's free."

"Get offa me," grumbled Gus.

"Hey," said Jason, "my sensors say that these are ghosts."

"Of course we're ghosts!" yelled Ezra. "Remember the Muppet Movie episode? With the mushroom?"

Double D broke out of his shock. "How I've missed you three!"

"FINALLY," said Ezra. "Some true, blue, friendship! We wanna scare people, but we need buddies, too!"

Everyone lightened up and greeted their ghostly friends.

"So now what?" wondered Gus.

"When in doubt...sing!" Ezra cheered as music started up. "You guys know how much we missed you?"

Phineas nodded. "We had a lot of adventures, but through it all..."

(To the tune of "Nothing In the World")

Ezra: **_We led a rampage through a park on Halloween_**

Gus: **_We busted up the villains like you'd never seen_**

Phineas: **_And a foreign land even made Gus the queen_** (Don't ask!)

Ezra: **_But who had asked us how we'd been?_**

All Three: **_Nobody! _**

Phineas: **_We saved a stone dragon way over in Hong Kong_**

Ezra: **_We sang a lot of parodies of classic songs_**

Gus: **_And though those working days could still run long_**

All Three: **_We stuck together and were strong_**

Ezra: **_But now we're back_**

_**Here again with you**_

Phineas: **_We get to tell you stories_**

_**Of all that we've been through**_

Gus: **_And although Disney World I highly recommend_**

All Three: **_There is nothing in the world quite like a friend_**

Gus: **_A sea witch tried to take over, but met defeat_**

Ezra: **_We got ridiculously hot girlfriends, they're sweet_**

Phineas: **_We scared the kids away at a character greet_**

All Three: **_And that really can't be beat!_**

Ezra: **_We made some risque jokes that pushed it quite a bit_**

Phineas: **_In a bowling game, we lost 'cause of some split_**

Gus: **_Saw Mary Poppins on Broadway, we love the Brit_**

All Three: **_And yet we missed you throughout it_**

Phineas: **_Without you, Jack Sparrow's just a man in makeup_**

Gus: **_Without you, Splash Mountain stinks, Big Thunder, too_**

Ezra: **_Without you, The Haunted Mansion bombed as a big movie_**

Phineas: **_Actually, that last one might be true_**

Ezra: **_Now that we're back_**

_**Once again, it's clear**_

Gus: **_All we ever wanted_**

_**Seems to be right here **_

Phineas: **_We're been through a whole lot_**

_**And now, we're back again **_

All Three: **_And there's nothing in the world quite like a friend _**

Double D: **_There's nothing in the world _**

Calvin: **_Nothing in the whole wide world _**

All: **_There is nothing in the world quite like a friend _**

Ezra:**_ Nothin' in the whole wide world! _**

"I love the songs!" clapped Ed.

"Yeah," said Hobbes, "songs just make this camp. Now that you're back, want to hang out?"

"Let's hit the pool!" suggested Calvin. They all ran off.

"Wait a second..." thought Eddy. "Those stupid ghosts made me forget about the Koopa!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Out in the Koopahari Desert, Wario landed in the sand. He crawled to his feet and dusted himself off. "Wow, I fell for a while. Hey, Waluigi, wanna get some revenge? ...again? Waluigi? Waluigi?" His brother was nowhere to be found. "Must have fell down a different warp pipe...he better not be treasure hunting in any dangerous locations without me! We were supposed to hit the Kero Sewers together!"

When Wario realized he had no transportation items on him, he shrugged and began to walk home. Suddenly, he tripped over a lamp in the sand. "What the heck is this?"

Wario picked up the lamp and rubbed it. In a burst of red smoke, out burst a huge, red, monstrous genie. Bowser Koopa was out. "ALRIGHT, LET'S DESTROY US A SUMMER CAMP!"

Wario fell over backwards. "Bowser?!"

"Hey," realized Bowser, "you're not a kid! Where's Jr?"

"Is this the lamp you wanted all those weeks back?" asked Wario. Yes, Wario was ironically a henchman Bowser hired to search for the lamp in the first place. Funny how these things happen.

"Yeah...it sort of backfired, as you can see," grumbled Bowser. He changed back into his normal Koopa form. "I'm not happy."

Wario's eyes lit up with greed. "Hey, I'm your master now! Awesome!"

"Aw, great. Uh, how about you wish that the summer camp that Calvin kid goes to was gone. Okay? Your choice of how. Lots of fun."

"Nah," said Wario, "I don't care about that. I want treasure and lots of it!"

Flames began to grow on Bowser. "Dang it, if I had the power to kill, I'd..."

"Don't raise your voice to me, buddy!" ordered Wario. "I'm your master and I wish for the treasure of Hooktail's Castle! Everything in it!"

With a sly grin, Bowser granted Wario's wish. All the treasure from the castle appeared, along with Hooktail and the Dry Bones.

"AAAAAAHHHHH! HOOKTAIL!" The dragon chased Wario around AGAIN. "I wish she was gone!"

"Fine!" Bowser made it all vanish. "And now you've used up two wishes!"

"Awww, you're right. What do I do? I want a lotta treasure..."

"Listen to me, buddy," said Bowser. "We both have grudges against those kids at camp, right? Wish me free and I'll take 'em out!"

"I'm not wasting a wish on that boring stuff!" complained Wario.

Flames grew on Bowser again. He changed into his genie form and rose over Wario. "I CAN STILL BLAST YOU!"

"Don't make me wish you back into that lamp!" warned Wario. "If I have to save my butt, I will!"

Bowser calmed down and returned to his Koopa form. "Fine. You got me. But unless you take me to that camp and help me get revenge, whatever your last wish is, I can make it work against you. Got it?"

Wario gave in. "Okay...let's go."

"It's good to have power," smiled Bowser. "Gannondorf would be proud."

Gannondorf appeared next to him briefly. "No I wouldn't."

"Oh."

* * *

So far in this story, my favorite bit has to be the Bowser/Wario interaction. A lot of fun to write. 


	5. AAAAAHHHH! BOWSER!

Back at camp, Ezra, Phineas, and Gus flew through the locker room followed by the others.

"Ah, the pool!" said Ezra, changing into a swimsuit. "You got any cute girls here? Ones that our suits could 'accidently' fall off by?"

"No one over thirteen," said Double D.

Gus grinned. "Not a problem."

"No," Phineas advised his friend as he put on some Donald Duck trunks, "the last thing we need is another 'Gus episode'."

"I can't control myself," smiled the littlest Hitchhiking Ghost.

Calvin stepped back. "Should I keep my distance?"

"Maybe," said Ezra.

Ed raised his hand. "I got a restraining order once! Then I ate it."

"Been there, pal!" laughed Gus. The group happily exited towards the pool.

Just as they left, Eddy arrived. "Gotta catch up with the others!"

At that moment, Jr almost randomly stepped out of a locker. "They left you behind? What jerks!"

"Jr! I thought you were locked in..."

"I found a crowbar. Just hear me out, kid. Do you think they really care about you? You've been bad before, why not join the Koopas? We'd like you. A lot."

(To the tune of "Forget About Love")

Jr: **_Forget about those "friends"_**

_**Turning to the dark side is what I recommend**_

_**You've been evil before**_

_**It wasn't too hard, so you could do it some more**_

_**Doing good deeds has no point**_

_**It's dumb**_

_**How come**_

_**They all disappoint?**_

_**I'm saying by the by**_

_**Just give evil a try**_

_**Remember your old plots**_

_**Remember all the scams that you would give a shot**_

_**Stealing from everyone**_

_**How can you not deny that it was really fun?**_

_**Good guys are so degrading**_

_**When their dumb deeds get that parading**_

_**And I say that's why**_

_**You give evil try**_

Eddy: **_I had almost forgotten the way it felt_**

_**When something I did went right**_

_**But my friends would hate me**_

Jr: **_Don't irritate me!_**

Eddy: **_On the other hand..._**

Jr: **_Being bad is grand_**

_**So listen to this guy**_

Eddy: **_I guess I could listen to you_**

Jr: **_I mean it, you're the tops when you're the with the bottom_**

Eddy: **_The skills, I've got 'em_**

Jr: **_I swear you could win still_**

_**Or at least make the others lose**_

_**Get me my fill**_

Both: **_Villainy's entertaining_**

Jr: **_I wonder why this needs explaining_**

Eddy: **_But I still don't think so_**

Jr: **_Oh please_**

Eddy:**_ Double D would say no_**

Jr: **_Oh, geez!_**

Eddy: **_This offer I deny_**

Both: **_(I can't) (Just) give evil a try_**

"You really think they're your friends?" Jr cried in exasperation. "I bet they're talking about you behind your back right now!"

Jr led Eddy to the pool. The two hid in the locker room and watched Ezra talking to Jason and Marcus.

"So where's the little guy?" asked Ezra.

"Gus?"

"No," said Ezra, "the one with you."

Marcus smiled weakly. "Oh, that's Eddy. He's really..." Marcus searched for the right words.

Jason was stuck as well. "Really...uh, we all pull scams, right?"

"Of course," Ezra leaned back. "Been a con man myself. Ya get used to being run out of towns."

"Right," said Marcus. "Well, Eddy gives all the cheats like us bad names."

"Compared to his outright frauds," cried Jason, "the stuff we pull is subtle!"

Eddy was hurt. He slowly walked back into the locker room followed by Jr, who was happy that things were working for him.

Eddy: **_They really said that about me?_**

_**I've been neglected for some other three**_

(Jr: **_It's pathetic_**)

_**I'm making up my mind**_

_**I can't stand it no more**_

_**I'm leaving them behind**_

(Jr: **_Good for you_**)

Both: **_We're here, we're bad_**

_**We're clever**_

_**An evil duo lasts forever**_

Eddy: **_We'll bring them down and fast_**

Jr: **_The camp is ours at last_**

Eddy:**_ I'm happy that I_**

Both: **_Will now give evil a try_**

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

However, Eddy actually missed the end of the conversation. After he left, Jason remarked, "And yet, through it all, he's...decent."

"That's a good word for it." agreed Marcus.

"Hey," said Ezra, "everybody's cool with me. Except Leota. I don't like her."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the locker room, Jr was putting his plan in action. "You did the right thing, you know," he told Eddy. "Now, there's this lamp in the desert.."

At that moment, Bowser, in his normal Koopa form, burst in. "Hey, Jr. Bad news."

"I have a genie!" announced Wario, who also scampered in.

"Perfect," sighed Jr.

"Bowser!" cried Eddy.

Bowser looked Eddy over. "So was this the kid that was gonna free me so I could destroy camp?"

"Destroy camp?" Having learned a lesson of sorts more than once, Eddy started to have second thoughts. "Uh, I might just have to pull out of this one, right? These songs, they get to me, make me say things I shouldn't...you know how it is..."

"Oh no you don't!" Bowser blocked his path and turned a bright fiery shade of red. "I had time to figure out a freaking huge plan when I was in that lamp, and I need a stupid kid like you! Ya stupid kid."

"Does your plan have you kidnaping the princess?" asked Wario.

"First one did, I changed it."

Eddy stared at them for a second, and then headed for the door again. "Yeah, I'm leaving now."

"STAY!" Using his powers and turning back into a genie, Bowser rooted Eddy to the ground. "I may have lost the ability to kill, but I can do much, much, worse," he warned. "Even if you're not doing it willingly, you ARE going to help me. GOT IT?"

"Got it."

"The camp will be mine," growled Bowser.

"No it won't," said Wario.

"What?"

"You're gonna destroy it," Wario pointed out, "so it won't be yours."

"It WILL be for a second," argued Bowser.

"That's not the same thing."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"I hate you."

* * *

Once again, the Bowser and Wario scene is my favorite part of the story. As much as I love the Hitchhiking Ghosts, I think they've been upstaged for once. I'll try to do some more with them soon, but their role in the story might not be as big here. Of course, they've got their own series, so I guess that's alright. 


	6. Flamboyant Musical Number and Stuff

The morning, Eddy approached Double D. He was forced to put Bowser's plan in motion. "Uh, hey, Double D. I heard the lagoon is really nice right now...

"Let me guess. You want to set up a scam there?"

"No," said Eddy, "I just wanted to take a walk with you and Nazz."

Double D was surprised. "Nazz? Well, alright. My, this is unexpected."

Eddy was about to tell Double D that the whole lagoon thing was really a plot set up by Bowser. But as he started, he noticed Jr and Wario watching him from a hiding place outside. Eddy wisely stopped.

Soon he, Double D, and Nazz started walking. "The lagoon is gonna be awesome!" cheered Nazz.

Ezra watched them from the camp. "Stupid shipping. It's all, 'they're so cute together, I wanna see them get married! Blah, blah, blah.'"

"Hey," Phineas argued, "they ARE cute."

"Shut up." Ezra flew over to the others. "Kids! Let's do something fun! Like a panty raid!"

Jason backed up. "Uh...we have a deck of cards."

"Good enough!" they went outside and Ezra began throwing off rules rapidly. "Okay, here's the rules. You draw an odd number, you have to take off a clothing item of someone next to you, you draw an even and you have to take off the clothes of someone across from you. You draw a face card, you have to take off the clothes of a random person walking by. You draw an ace and you take off your own clothes."

"What kind of game is that?!" exclaimed Hobbes.

"An excuse to get naked," said Gus.

Calvin scooted away. "I'm not sitting by you."

"Ed, you draw first," said Ezra.

Ed drew a card. "It is a man with an axe!"

"Ooh, face card," smiled Phineas. "Who should he...you know...?"

Ezra lit up and pointed to across the street. "There's a hot chick walking down there, twentysometing, pretty good. Go for it, Ed."

Eagerly, Ed bounded across the street towards the woman. Suddenly, the sky turned dark red. Out of the ground in front of the group of friends rose Bowser!

"Bowser?!" gasped Marcus.

"Please don't invite him to play," said Hobbes. "The last thing I need to see is a Koopa without its shell."

"Miss me?!" roared Bowser.

"No," said Jason.

"That was rectorial!"

A scream was heard. From across the street, Ed was slapped by the lady. He flew over and hit Bowser. Angrily, the Koopa threw the boy off of him. "Well, there goes the dramatic entrance!" He zapped Ed, who disappeared.

"Ed!" cried Hobbes.

"You'll see him soon," sneered Bowser.

Ezra and the two other ghosts flew at Bowser. "Stand back, kids! We'll take care of this fat tub of..."

Bowser simply blasted them against the camp building.

"Maybe we should have stayed genies..." whispered a smokey Phineas.

"Music, please," Bowser grinned as the world suddenly went dark. A lone spotlight shone on him as he began a monologue he obviously planned. "You've made it to the last level of the last world of the game. A pair of huge doors stands before you. You know the final boss is behind them. There's no save block, you're low on health, and you've got no power-ups. It's your last life and you know that you're going to get a game over. No turning back now. For you, this is where the system gets turned off...forever."

(To the tune of "Second Rate")

Bowser: **_I must admit_**

_**You're good for comic relief, boys**_

_**But after that, there's not much that you can do**_

'_**Cause the end of the game**_

_**Is getting quite near**_

_**It's the final stage**_

_**And in that**_

_**You will all face my rage**_

_**I've got a fire breath that packs a punch**_

_**Though you try and stop me, I'll have you for lunch**_

_**It's too easy for me**_

_**It wouldn't be a loss**_

_**You'll never beat this boss**_

_**You're just a bunch of kids**_

_**Or else you're kids at heart**_

_**That isn't gonna save you**_

_**Though you've got the smarts**_

_**If you were to vanish, it's quite sad, of course**_

_**You'll never beat the boss**_

_**My paws have super claws**_

_**My feet could squash you**_

_**My scales will not flail**_

_**From your attacks**_

_**But if you're not convinced**_

_**That I'm invincible**_

_**Cross my fortress maze**_

_**Isn't it obvious that I am crazed?**_

_**Go ahead and use all your fancy cheat codes**_

_**You'll still be a dead thing sticking to the road**_

_**It's like pigeons fighting an albatross**_

_**You'll never beat this boss**_

_**You know, it's funny that you try this hard**_

_**If I poke you, you fall apart like glass shards**_

_**So I will say again when our paths do cross**_

_**You'll never beat this boss**_

_**You know the last level's always the worst**_

_**Though it's obvious that my song was rehearsed**_

_**You are soft as moss and you'll lose at all costs**_

_**I'll spread you all across potato chips like sauce**_

_**You're about as useless as a piece of floss**_

_**You'll never beat this boss!**_

Throughout the song, Bowser tormented the kids in various ways. Fireballs flew through the air. Spikes rose out of the ground. Thwomps tumbled out of nowhere. Cages formed out of thin air. Chain Chomps chased everyone. When it ended, the dazed kids found themselves sitting in a dungeon-like room, chained to the wall. The Hitchhiking Ghosts sat nearby, trapped in a transparent sphere.

Ed had appeared there as well. "My friends! We are reunited and doomed together! Awesome!"

"Ya know," growled Ezra, "there's not a lot of LEG ROOM in here!"

"Guess where my hand is..." Gus said softly with a disturbingly huge smile.

"Where are we?" asked Calvin.

Using his powers, Bowser changed the lighting of the room to neon and made fog rise from the ground. He bellowed in a deep voice: "The Mysterious Doomed Pit of Mystery and Doom!"

"We're in a room under the camp," said Wario.

Bowser glared at him and made the neon colors and fog disappear. "Why does everyone ruin my moments?!"

"Just saying," shrugged Wario.

"What did I miss?" asked Ed.

"A villain song," replied Calvin.

Ed's eyes grew wide. "You sang without me?"

"I'll do a reprise later," promised Bowser. He called Jr. "Status report, Jr!"

Jr zipped up to him with a little clipboard. "We've managed to round up almost everyone at camp. Double D and Nazz are at the lagoon right now."

"Great!" Bowser turned to the captive kids. "You guys are gonna love this." The Koopa made a movie screen appear that showed Double D, Nazz, and Eddy walking to the lagoon...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This place is beautiful," said Nazz when they arrived.

Double D nodded. "It was certainly a good idea to come here, Eddy."

"Oh," Eddy tried to look away. "Uh, thanks..."

"Yes," said Double D, "what a day!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the dungeon, Bowser was dancing for Ed. "**_You'll never beat this boss!_**"

"Yay!" clapped Ed.

The others rolled their eyes and continued watching the screen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nazz pointed to the water. "Look, ducks!"

"No, Nazz," corrected Double D. "Those are geese, and they're not the friendliest of all birds."

Suddenly, several shadows fell across the sky. From out of nowhere swept the seven other Koopalings riding on mini-clown copters.

"What are those?!" cried Nazz.

Double D had to think of a lie fast. "Um, angry geese?"

Nazz ducked as Wendy swooped down and blasted at them with her wand, leaving a large crater. "You weren't kidding!"

Double D scanned the lagoon for Eddy, but he had vanished. Obviously, thought Double D, he was captured by the Koopas. For the moment, however, he had to worry about himself.

The seven Koopalings swarmed around Double D, each one trying to grab him. The poor boy found himself in a mess of Koopa claws, being crushed between the clown copters.

Wendy Koopa noticed Nazz running for it. "You idiots! One of them's getting away!"

"I'll get her!" volunteered Morton, taking off after her,

Nazz ran across a stone bridge, being chased by Morton in the air. The talkative Koopaling was babbling, like always. "Don't try to evade, elude, escape! I'll capture, grab, kidnap you with ease!"

Double D managed to slip through the grasps of the Koopalings and ran for Nazz while the reptiles tried to regroup. He didn't know where Eddy was supposedly being held, but he could at least save her! He managed to grab hold of the copter Morton was in. Climbing up, he and Morton began to shove each other around for the controls. The Koopaling reached for a fire flower, but lost balance and fell out. Double D couldn't stop the copter in time, crashing into Nazz. The two kids toppled into the lagoon.

With evil grins, the Koopalings all stood on the edge of the lagoon. That was it. They just stood there. Double D and Nazz looked at each other in confusion. Something under them rumbled. Out rose a submarine driven by Ludwig Von Koopa. It all made sense now. A claw reached out and grabbed Nazz.

"Climb aboard, everyone!" announced Ludwig, followed by a long laugh. Cackling along with him, the other Koopalings swarmed onto the sub, covering up Double D.

Double D pushed through the Koopa hoards, expecting to be caught. Instead, they all climbed into their sub and shut the hatch behind them. Confused, Double D sat on the submarine as it slowly submerged again. Then, he found himself standing on the lagoon's shallow floor. Where did the sub go? he wondered.

Perhaps it was magic. Perhaps not. Still confused, Double D walked out of the lagoon, which turned to a run. He had to get back to camp! But it would take him twenty minutes to get there, at the least.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bowser laughed at the screen, watching Double D. "Go ahead and run! It won't do you any good! You'll just meet your doom!"

"I don't get it," said Jason. "Why didn't you get Double D?"

"BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE WHO PUT ME IN THIS LAMP IN THE FIRST PLACE!" roared Bowser. "I want my revenge to be BIG!"

Wario raised his hand. "Can I change the channel on this thing? I wanna see what Waluigi is doing right now."

On the screen, Waluigi was walking down the street when Hooktail flew out of the sky. "AAAAAHHHHHH! HOOKTAIL!"

"Heh, heh," laughed Wario. "Funny."

Bowser turned to Edyd, who was walking in. "And here's the kid of the hour! Or minute. Or something. Eddy!"

"As payment for luring the kids, here's a coin," said Jr, who then laughed. "Too bad you won't have anyone to scam after we're done!"

Eddy just sighed.

"Eddy?!" gasped Marcus.

"How are you surprised?!" shouted Ezra. "He's been the villain, like, ten times already!"

Bowser zapped the orb. The Hitchhikers kept talking, but no sound came out. The Koopa just smiled. "Mute magic. Being a genie has its perks."

"Can you do the standard villain thing and tell us your plot?" asked Calvin.

Bowser headed out the door. "You'll all find out in a second..."

"I'm thrilled with anticipation," grumbled Hobbes.


	7. Double D's Gonna Get It

Nazz was dragged through the dark corridors of the submarine. Somehow, magically almost, she found herself under the camp building, being thrown into a different room with most of the other kids.

"Did the mutant geese get you guys, too?" she asked them when the Koopalings slammed the door.

"Is that what you're calling them?" muttered Lucy.

Linus walked over. "Yes, we've all grabbed and put here. At least they let me keep my blanket."

"Don't remind me!" shouted Lucy, going into a typical vent. "Do you know how embarrassing it is for your kidnaper to tell you 'your little brother has a blanket and pats birds on the head'?"

Nazz turned away. "I wonder what happened to Double D..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin and Rolf wandered through camp. It seemed like everyone had vanished except for them.

"This is weird, man," said Kevin. "Everyone went home or something..."

Rolf was quiet. "It is as if the prophecy Rolf's Nana told him would come true!"

"What was it?"

"First," said Rolf, "all the people will disappear! Then, lava will rise from the ground! Finally, an evil green grapefruit will take over!"

Kevin didn't know what to say. "Your family is nuts."

Just then, they saw someone else. Calvin ran over. But there was something different about him. He had a deep, gravely voice. "Hey, buddies!"

"Buddies?" Kevin was put off by this.

Calvin nudged Kevin. "Ya know Nazz? Pretty hot, right?"

"Rolf is confused. Does Calvin not hate girls?"

Calvin seemed to react to this. "Uh, right. Well, she and Double D were down at the lagoon when he beat her up! That's why she isn't here."

"He did what?!" exclaimed Kevin.

Rolf had trouble believing this. "Why would puny Double D Ed-boy do this to trendy go-go Nazz-girl?"

"Oh, he ain't puny when you see him in action!" said Calvin. "He's coming right now. I say, you hit him with all you've got!"

"That could kill him!" gasped Rolf.

"I told you, he's stronger than he looks!" insisted Calvin. "And it's not like he doesn't deserve it, right?"

"Right!" shouted Kevin.

"Rolf is still suspicious..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Calvin strolled down into the dungeon room where the others were held, only to morph into a Koopa! It had never been Calvin at all, but really Bowser.

"So what was that about?" asked Marcus.

"Just watch the screen," motioned Bowser.

On the screen, they saw Double D dashing towards the camp to get help. Kevin and Rolf were waiting. As Double D approached them, they grabbed him and dragged him inside.

"Double D's gonna get it!" cheered Bowser. "What better revenge than to be beaten to death by his best friend?"

"Best friend?!" repeated Calvin. "Kevin hates us! How much do you actually KNOW about this camp?"

Bowser tried to think of something. "Uh...you've got a tiger named Guido..."

"My name is Hobbes!"

"I like that name!" said Ed.

"Doesn't matter. Soon I won't have a camp to worry about at all." Bowser headed out a door, up some stairs. "Come on, Wario," he called. "We've gotta talk about your final wish."

"Right," Wario followed him. "I was thinking turning the world into gold, but what would I spend it on...?"

After they left, Hobbes growled. "Seriously, where did he get Guido from?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Double D didn't know what to think. He was dangling upside-down in one of the camp's gyms. His legs were tied to a pipe in the wall and his arms were tied to a flat scooter on the ground. Kevin stood over him and pulled the scooter hard, stretching poor Double D.

"Why did you do that to Nazz?!" shouted Kevin.

"Kevin," squeaked Double D, "what's come over you?! This is quite painful!"

"So was what you did to Nazz!" Kevin pulled again. Hard.

"Kevin," quivered Rolf, "something odd is going on, and Rolf demands to know what it is! If Nana's prophecy has come true, then we cannot waste our time on this confused Ed-boy and worry about the lava and the grapefruit!"

"WHAT?" cried Double D.

"Stop being crazy, Rolf," Kevin said darkly. "Let's get a few bats and see how Double Dork feels after that!"

They left, leaving Double D more confused than ever. "What in the world is going on?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Below, Jr watched Double D on the screen eagerly. He turned to Eddy. "You know, Eddy, you make a pretty good Koopa."

Eddy looked his friends, who glared at him. "Oh." Feeling awful, Eddy tried to form a plan to escape with the others. And to escape, they needed help! "Uh...what are the Hitchhiking Ghosts in?"

"One of Ludwig's inventions. Virtually nothing can break it!" Jr banged his wand on the orb and then picked the round prison up and threw it against the wall. It was unscarred.

"I want that for my bedroom!" said Ed. "It's just like the glowing sphere in _TRONK III: Revenge of the Avenged!_"

"The catch is," said Jr, "it only holds ghosts."

A lightbulb went off over Eddy's head. He had to keep talking to find if this thing had a weakness. "Well, you could hold Boos in 'em. Ever think of marketing these? Is there a brochure?"

"Sure is," Jr pulled one out of his shell. "Ludwig loves brochures."

Eddy grabbed the brochure and flipped through it. If he could figure out how to get the ghosts out of there, he could make it up to his friends!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Double D was struggling. He had to get untied before Kevin came back with the bat! There was no telling what he'd do!

Actually, it was a no-brainer that Kevin would hit him, but that was beside the point. With a hard yank, Double D pulled his feet lose. His hands, however, were still tied. Good enough, he decided. Quickly, Double D scampered his feet and attempted to steer the scooter out of the gym.

Kevin arrived with the bat just in time to see Double D escaping. "Get him!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jr laughed and laughed as he watched Double D running from Kevin. Eddy ignored him and continued flipping through the brochure. It seemed that the orb was immune to everything! Fire, Thwomps, hammers, Bullet Bills, bombs...

In frustration, Eddy flipped to the last page. According to the brochure, the orb was vulnerable to one thing only...Koopa shells.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Double D scooted down the hall. He didn't have a plan at all on how to save Nazz or find out where everyone went, but he knew he had to escape Kevin.

Speaking of Kevin, he and Rolf raced after him, with baseball bats raised.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jr was rolling on the floor right now. Eddy snuck up behind him with the orb and smashed him on the head. Unconscious, the Koopaling fell to the floor. Happily, Eddy kicked the shell, which bounced around the room. Jason and Marcus stared at each other in confusion.

"Duck!" cried Calvin, as the shell almost hit him.

"Eddy's gonna kill us!" yelled Jason!

"I am not!" growled Eddy, jumping out of the way of the shell as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Double D tried to open the door at the end of the hall, but it was no use. It was locked and his hands were tied, anyway.

Instead of doing the typical "villain slowly approaches victim," Kevin just ran at him with the bat raised. Some people have no class.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the dungeon room, the shell finally crashed into the orb, which burst open. Out popped the Hitchhiking Ghosts, who flew off in a flash.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin was about to smack Double D, when the Hitchhikers swooped down and flew off with him. Kevin's bat ended up hitting the ground and ricocheting off, hitting him in the head.

Rolf's eyes went wide. "Double D Ed-boy is gone, Kevin! It is all part of the prophecy!"

Dazed, Kevin struggled to his feet. "There's no prophecy! We're gonna find Double D!" Still dizzy, he walked into the wall.

"You just walked into..."

"I KNOW!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Calvin, Hobbes, Jason, Marcus, Ed, and Eddy were magically transported out of the dungeon. Everyone gathered outside, where Eddy was forgiven.

"Now that all that's settled," said Ezra, "what do we do?"

"We run!" suggested Eddy. "Fast and far."

"Come on," insisted Jason, "we can't let Bowser win! The only advantages he has over us is immense size and magical powers!"

"Those are pretty good advantages," Calvin pointed out.

"What about the other kids?" reminded Hobbes.

Phineas gave them a thumbs-up. "Don't worry, we sent them somewhere safe."

"That's a relief," said Double D. "I agree that we must stop Bowser rather than stand here and talk, but how can we go about defeating him?"

"Playing cards?" tired Ed.

"I'm in!" grinned Gus.

"Hold on a second!" Ezra stopped them. "I remember that back when we got turned into genies in an attempt to cram us into the _Aladdin_ parody, Leota told us that the only way to destroy one was to destroy the lamp. I hate her less now."

* * *

I just wanted to say, this chapter was a lot of fun to write. 


	8. That One Scene With All That Lava

They found Bowser, Wario, and the seven other Koopalings (Jr was still unconscious) in a racquetball court. Bowser and Wario were arguing yet again.

"You have to wish me free!" insisted Bowser. "I want to kill those kids and I can't as a genie!"

"Just have your Koopalings do it," shrugged Bowser.

"They wouldn't savor it as much as I would!"

"He's right," called the Koopalings, "We wouldn't."

"SEE?" cried Bowser.

Wario plopped himself onto the ground. "Too bad. I ain't wasting my wish."

"What if I just GAVE you some treasure?" pleaded Bowser. "You know, for free?"

This caught Wario's attention. "Free, huh? Go ahead! Do it!"

Bowser sighed and made a few chests appear.

"Sweet!" Wario clapped his hands. "More!"

So Bowser brought more.

"More!"

So Bowser brought more.

"More!"

So Bowser brought more.

"More!"

"He's never gonna wish me free at this point..." thought Bowser.

A small Gannondorf appeared on his shoulder. "You're pathetic."

"Gannondorf?!" Bowser was naturally surprised. "Did I imagine you?"

"No, I actually chose to shrink myself down and insult you." Gannondorf was serious.

"Oh," said Bowser. "Uh, what should I do?"

"He's making a mockery of you!" said Gannondorf. "Just do the same to him."

"Good idea," nodded Bowser.

Gannondorf disappeared. "Don't screw up."

With a cruel smirk, Bowser turned to Wario. "Okay, Wario, you want treasure?"

"YES!"

Bowser made an endless stream of coins pour out of the ceiling. They covered Wario. At first, the greedy villain loved it, but soon... "They're crushing me! You can stop!"

Bowser leaned over him. "I don't think so. Wish me free, and it'll all be over."

Impressed, his kids eagerly watched.

"Okay..." wheezed Wario. "I wish..."

Lemmy interrupted him. "King dad, where's..."

"...your lamp?" finished Iggy.

Bowser looked into the hall to see the kids and the ghosts running out with it. "Stupid Wario! Hold that wish!"

Outside, the ghosts flew the kids up to the roof. "Let's make this fast and destroy the lamp!" said Jason.

"What do we destroy it with?" wondered Marcus.

Gus pushed his way over to the lamp. "Ball and chain comin' through!" He was about to smash it when the roof under them cracked. Out burst the giant genie Bowser.

"Hope you kids like skylights," said Ezra.

"Hands off the lamp!" With a giant claw, Bowser made a grab for it, but it bounced off the roof into the grass below. "Find that lamp!" ordered Bowser. With a salute, the Koopalings jumped after it and started looking.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin and Rolf were searching on the other side of the building. "Rolf warns you, we must leave before the eggplant attacks!"

"Didn't you say it was a grapefruit?"

"That too!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The kids and the Koopalings fought nearby. Calvin jumped for Wendy. "Evil Koopaling!"

Wendy zapped him with candy bracelets, holding him in place. "Little brat!"

As Wendy was about to attack again, Ed knocked her out of the way. "Random insult!"

Phineas watched the carnage and sighed. "Looks like we'll have to be the peacemakers."

"You said it," agreed Ezra. "ATTACK!"

The three ghosts flew at the Koopas. Bowser simply raised a claw and the trio found themselves trapped inside another orb. "NOT AGAIN!"

"I've had enough of this!" announced Bowser. "It's time to do what I wanted to in the first place!"

Using his powers, Bowser created a huge pit of lava. Everyone watched in horror as the camp building collapsed into it. Bowser laughed. "Finally! I destroyed the camp!"

The kids fell in as well. A few rock formations stuck out, which they climbed onto. The Koopalings surrounded them, with Bullet Bill blasters raised.

"Now we're talking!" cheered Bowser. "Keep an eye on the kids," he instructed the Koopalings. "I have a lamp to find."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin had fallen into the pit as well. He clung to the sides "Rolf! Help me out!"

"The prophecy has come true!" shrieked Rolf. He noticed Bowser. "THE GRAPEFRUIT HAS ARRIVED!" Rolf fainted.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Hitchhiking Ghosts struggled in their orb. "We've gotta do something!" cried Phineas.

"Then let's get the orb rolling!" said Ezra. "Get it? Cause the term is usually 'ball rolling' but it's really an orb? Eh? Eh? Uh-oh, we're really moving!"

It was true. The orb was getting closer and closer to the lava. In a second, it tumbled in and slowly sank.

Bowser flew around the kids, getting in each of their faces. "Where's...the...lamp?!" he growled.

"If I had it, I would have dropped it in," Jason shot back.

"SHUT UP!"

"Told you," Jason grinned at the others. "Immense size and magical powers. He can't even think of a good comeback."

"Nerd!" tried Bowser.

"Like I've never heard that one before..."

What Bowser didn't know was, that the pit he created had an opening in it. Inside hid Calvin, Hobbes, and Eddy, who had climbed in when they fell. Eddy had the lamp.

Calvin stared at the lava. He turned to Hobbes. "I used to hate that camp, but now it's gone."

"I'll miss it, too," said Hobbes. "But we have bigger things to worry about."

They ducked as Bowser flew by.

"The lamp is ours!" smiled Eddy, cradling the black object. "You wanna do the honor of throwing it in?"

Calvin took the lamp and dangled it over the lava. He didn't drop it, though. "I... I can't."

"WHAT?!"

Hobbes understood and picked up the lamp. "Calvin has learned the greatest lesson of all," said Hobbes as "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" swelled behind him. "Although Bowser is evil for wanting to kill us, what does that make us for wanting to do the same to him? For he too is a living thing. Why, if we were to destroy him, it wouldn't stop a thing! More and more Koopas will come!"

"I get it," said Eddy, grabbing for the lamp. "Just keep the music down! He'll hear us!"

The music got louder, instead. "But," continued Hobbes, "if we back down peacefully, maybe this mayhem will somehow end. And although I am a carnivorous mammal, my species hunts merely for survival. At least, the books say we do."

"Where's the volume switch?!" cried Eddy, wanting the music to stop.

"And so," said Hobbes, "I congratulate you Calvin on a job well done." He and Calvin hugged as the music blared. Eddy banged his head against the rock walls.

Bowser heard them and stuck his head in. "The lamp! Now I'm gonna..."

Calvin just smiled and rubbed the lamp. "I wish..."

Bowser roared in horror. The lava pit began to crumble. The rock formations the kids were standing on began to sink.

Jr ran over as all this was happening. "King Dad! The ghosts and the kids...oh, you already know."

Suddenly, the Koopas all disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

* * *

Hobbes's "Battle Hymn of the Republic" speech was actually a last minute thing. Originally, he was just going to say "Bowser's a living thing, too," and leave it at that. Of course, this was much too cheesy. Rather than take it out, I decided to go the opposite direction and make it an obnoxious, overly done speech with blaring music. I think it worked. 


	9. Three More Wishes

Below in the lava, the Hitchhiking Ghosts were still sinking. The put seemed bottomless.

"Well," Ezra said quietly, "it looks like we'll be here for a while."

"Or forever," said Phineas. "Or longer."

"What's longer than forever?" asked Gus.

Phineas thought. "Uh...friendship." The others glared at him. "Sorry, it's a cliché I thought would work."

The orb suddenly burst open.

"We're out!" cheered Ezra.

"We're free!" cried Gus.

"We're..." Phineas stopped.

"Fathoms below in lava!" they realized. "IT BURNS!"

The ghosts quickly burst out to the surface in time to catch the falling kids and fly them out as the pit closed.

"What's going on?" asked Ezra.

Calvin smiled. "All of Bowser's magic is reversing!"

It was true. Once the pit closed, the camp re-formed itself, perfectly restored. Everyone cheered.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin, meanwhile, was not as happy. When the pit closed, most him was trapped in it. Now only his head stuck out. "Rolf, get me out of here!"

Rolf sat up. "Is the grapefruit gone?"

"Whatever it was, yeah."

Rolf thought this over. "Perhaps you getting stuck was the answer, somehow. This means that he won't come back as long as you're in the ground! Well done, Kevin!" Proudly, he walked away.

"That's crazy!" shouted Kevin. "Rolf, get back here!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm glad that's over with," continued Jason, unaware of the trapped Kevin. "How'd we get rid of him? Did you destroy the lamp?"

"Nope," said Calvin. "I made three wishes. My first was for him and the Koopalings to be sucked back to Darkland and trapped in their castle, and my last was to wish Bowser back to a Koopa, so he couldn't use any genie magic on us."

"And your last wish?" asked Marcus.

"Please let it be gold!" prayed Eddy.

Double D was curious, too. "What was it, Calvin? Oh, my faith in humanity is restored!"

"A new cardboard box!" cried Calvin and Hobbes as one appeared next to them. They grabbed it and ran off. "Let's go exploring!"

"Never mind," sighed Double D.

Ed looked around. "Where are the other kids? I need a big hug!"

"They must still be where we sent them," remembered Ezra. "Don't worry, it's a great place."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The kids were in Disney World, trapped on "it's a small world," trying desperately to get off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Or maybe it was worse than here. I can't remember."

"Maybe we should get going, too," suggested Phineas. "They don't need us anymore."

"Oh dear," Double D said sadly, "you're leaving again?"

Gus: Hey, we'll come back! These guest star gigs are great!

Phineas: Will we ever do a _King of Thieves_ parody?

Ezra: NEVER!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**A good end for the guys**_

_**Not like you were surprised**_

_**Watch the hitchhiking trio leave**_

_**Bowser has fallen flat**_

_**And they all promised that**_

_**We would never do "King of Thieves"**_

_**There's not more much to say**_

'_**Cause the kids are okay**_

_**And the hitchhiker's have their shtick**_

_**Au revior, adios**_

_**From the kids and the ghosts**_

_**It's the end of**_

_**Another fanfic!**_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite what Calvin said, not all over Bowser's magic was reversed. A few days later, Johnny and Plank walked into a racquetball court to find the stream of coins was still going. "Well, waddaya know? We're rich, Plank!"

Wario, of course, was still stuck at the bottom. "This irony's killing me."


End file.
